Muted Desires
by IrishPrincess3
Summary: Rick Grimes was a good man, one that had fallen into the cracks but had been pulled back up. By who? His best friend Hollie West, who just happened to be deaf. Hollie was there for nearly every life event of Rick Grimes and he had devoted his life to making her feel normal. Being deaf is not an easy feat when you have walkers chasing you. Can the two manage to keep each other safe?


Rick Grimes. Everyone in the prison knew his story, whether he liked it or not. It wasn't a secret that his wife and him had problems, or that she died during Judith's birth. Nor was it a secret that Rick had gone a little bit crazy after the death of Lori. But that never affected anyone at the prison anymore, they loved him. He was a perfect leader even though he exactly didn't make anymore concrete decisions. Ever since the council was made things had gone smoothly and Rick handled all the other aspects of the prisons. Like keeping us safe, making sure nothing out of the ordinary was happening and that we all had enough food and supplies. I had been best friends with Rick Grimes since I was only seventeen, so nearly fifteen years. I had been around when he began dating Lori, when he proposed, when the two got married and then when they had Carl. I was there for practically all the milestones in his life. I was nothing special but all of his friends- Shane and his wife, included- were kind to me. In their eyes I was just the little deaf woman who Rick always took care of.

Deaf, you heard me right. Since a fatal car accident when I was sixteen, I had lost all of my hearing and there was no way to fix it. I could talk normally since I had been talking for sixteen years, but I never knew what it sounded like. Rick had recently learned sign language but I preferred reading his lips and seeing his eyes for emotion. Lori hadn't bothered since she figured Rick would have dropped me soon enough when she had Carl, but he never did. Rick was committed to my well-being and he made sure I was always cared for. This resulted in him coming to my house everyday after work to chat before he went home for dinner. With all these chats, there came the woes of his dying marriage and anger at his wife not listening to him.

I was there for him when Lori was not. I was the shoulder he metaphorically cried on and the voice of reason. When he offered of the suggestion of leaving his wife, I told him that something that was broken, could always be fixed with a little love and care. He took that to heart and went home with flowers from my garden, presenting them to his somewhat shallow yet kind wife. It worked for a few days and then it went to hell again. I couldn't do anything more. So I just listened, well, read his lips and tried to be a comforting friend. Which he told me multiple times that he appreciated. He made me happy and I could never admit to him that I had feelings for him that weren't exactly friendly. But what would he care? He had a wife, despite her attitude, and a wonderful son, who always was glad to see me. And that's where the unhappiness stemmed from. It became deep and ruthless.

I lay at night in my bed and would cry myself to sleep at the mere thought of Rick and I. He would never love me the way I wanted him to. I knew if I even suggested my true feelings, he'd shut me down and explain that he only loved Lori. So I never tried. When Rick left after our daily chats, I'd take my medicine, sit in my sun-room and mindlessly stare outside. I never told him of my ailment: depression. It would add more pressure to his already weighed down life. So I bottled it up, took my medicine and pretended that my life was as good as it could be. A total lie.

When the outbreak happened, Rick had been declared dead by Shane and everyone believed him. Except me, so I went to the hospital to see for myself but Shane stopped me halfway to his room and took me away. The outbreak was happening and he wanted to get Lori, Carl and myself to a safe place. So it had been settled. We were off to Atlanta, much to my anger. I didn't want to leave Rick's body back in Kings County but we had. And that's how I ended up in the small camp that was led by Shane. Well, that was until Rick showed up alive and well. It was a joyous day but not for long. Rick was all over Lori, so I had retreated to my tent for days until he sought me out. He had hugged me tight for a long time, whispering words I couldn't hear. It bothered me when he did that. When I couldn't know what he was saying, even if it was foolish or not. I had cried that day out of happiness and sadness.

The months passed and moved on, lost people and had some close calls. I had managed to survive despite my deafness but only because of Rick and Daryl, who had taken a liking to me after we left the farm. They were my protectors, but I wasn't useless. I knew how to protect myself well with both a knife and a gun, thanks to Rick. We spent a lot of time on the road and that's when we all figured out Lori was pregnant with either Rick or Shane's child. That crushed Rick, knowing that his wife had cheated on him, and I had been there. Lori had watched our interactions from afar and glared wholeheartedly at me but never commented on it. She knew she was slowly losing her husband of nearly thirteen years and I was the only one holding him up.

*** New Story, not my first fanfiction though. I have another account on here but I will not let you know what my other username is. Enjoy this. I figured there wasn't a lot of Rick Grimes/OC fanfictions so I created my own sort.. ***


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